There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
