omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Holy shit dude........stairs
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