Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
