You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
