I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
