Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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