and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize