rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize