I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
