there's paper in my vomit.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
