we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
