He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
