you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
