don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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