just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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