He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
