I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
this just has baby written all over it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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