Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
