Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize