I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
