I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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