Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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