do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize