Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
