***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
