He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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