bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
