Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
