these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
