I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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