He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you will always have a special place in my vag
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
