Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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