i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
