her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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