still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
