Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
