so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
