WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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