Sry I called you an 8
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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