He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
