you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
