This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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