I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
