you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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