I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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