He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
