I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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