You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize