No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
