the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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