I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
