Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
