please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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