Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize