Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
