i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize