you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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