I wanna bring you to show and tell
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
