My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
