I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
