im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we made out on top of his cat.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i believe in u and ur pee
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
