Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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