I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
